What a nightmare Blackberrys are! No one should be able to drunkishly post emotional nonsense to the world at 4am! It is unhealthy! Antisocial even!

Really, one should press delete, but that’s a bit 1984 for me. I’m a Take Me As I Is kindofa dude. And today I is a mess of clashing colours, zipping through England in a metal box through the rain and the sunshine en route to Sheffield, to play The Plug. I just had to make Dan switch Edith Bowman off, she was attepting to ruin my excellent mood with an almost fascinating innanity. Forsooth!

Anyway, we shall chat later, and the meantime, I present to you the acest letter I got yesterday. Forsooth!

Yo Akira,Just Wanted to say, If you could ever make it up to australia for a fewtours, im up for following the band round (Even on foot) to come to seeeveryone, Anyway, The main point of me writing is thisis a thanks and a little history, Well I got Married Recently (illegallyhush hush) to my girl and well, at the wedding we played Oh! what a gloriousthing which is always good, also some of your more Hard core stuff getsher….I get laid heh, So thanks for that. Next of all is your song “Thanks for all the AIDS” made me and a few of my mates donate some cash towardsAIDs Research and FinallyThe Song “The Drinking Song” made me stop abusing alcahol so much (that anda scolding from my wife Alexandra), so thank you for that as well. Anyway Uphere i’d love to see you live in concert and well, that all i have to sayreally, Thank you for your music and thank you for being a celebrity thatisn’t…well…An Ego with an Orbit, also me and my mate “Church” are bigfans and could well do whatever  we can to help out your army down here
Signed,Tim, The 15 year old Invader

— Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Baby. Just because my living room carpet is a weird tapestry of broken glass and wires and bits of map doesn’t mean last night wasn’t off the hook.

LAST NIGHT WAS OFF THE HOOK!

Oh, I could go into detail. But I’d only make those of you that weren’t there jealous. We’ll wait for Jeres’ tour diary.

Anyway! I have good news.

Mothboy’s seriously, actually, FUCKING brilliant new album is out now. You can read a review here. You can buy it here, and you can listen to a fragment of I Can See Cities, on which I rap, here. I must say, I am immensely proud of that song, it is really quite awesome. The lyrics I will present to you here. I just wrote them out, and amazed at their precience. I wote them at the end of the spring, and now here we are in this winter, and I could have written this last fucking night. Actually Amazing.

I See Cities

My baby’s pure porno
It’s disproportionate
The only time I’m peacefull’s when I’m up inside her neck
The blinds are shut, and if it’s sunny out
I’ll hang a fucking sheet on top
The cracks let through the light
Babe, turn that beeper off
I got this new phone
Rah
That shit goes on the internet
It’s got a qwerty keyboard honey, I can write my days in it
I can hold my gaze in it
It’s kind if like a crystal ball
With which baby I’m in thrall
Into which I so could fall
Call out to me
A claw about your throat
The green light flashes
Illuminates the ceiling and shines a light inside your eyes
How I despise these foul intrusions
I have not learned yet to use illusions
I have just learned force
But I’ll keep inside my thoughts
Pour some sugar on me
If not babe make do with whiskey
Crash the table
Smash the glass
I promise not to be too crass
There’s no such thing as crass
Just
Ass
Bass
Middle
And treble
And giving the devil his due
Knowing me plus you
We’ll crash straight through

My baby sends me letters
But it’s like they don’t exist
She sends me pictures too
I didn’t recognise her
Took me minutes
Funny innit
You said you loved me
I can’t remember
If you’re ugly
Up the contrast
Tell the lies
I can still see in your eyes
So can the wires
So too can the television
Laptop, telephone, Etchasketch
Any vision’s better than the hell I’m seeing currently
That’s why I’d rather you were with me than engaged in courting fucking currency
Let’s just get drunk
Break stuff
Bass funk
Don’t think
Just feel
Don’t talk
Just fuck
And never mind what they’re telling you
Never mind the swine and what they’re selling you

I see cities
Cities see me
I always wanted to be on TV

I see cities
Cities see me
I always wanted to be on TV

One of us knows
Maybe we both do
And if not well someday we should hope to
One step
Two step
Da, da da
One sip
Two sip
Da, da da
It’s more important now than ever to be
Drunk As Fuck
And now we don’t believe in heaven that’s why we’re
Drunk As Fuck
And baby when we get together we get
Drunk As Fuck
And we get
Crunk As Fuck
And we get
Punked to fuck
If you happen to wake up in the porches of the palace
In the green grass of a ditch
If you make yourself sick
Rah, don’t ask me
As the government baby
The wind
The star
The bird
The clock
Ask everything that flees
And everything that groans
Or rolls
Or sings
Ask everything that speaks
Ask the priest
Whose piece shrieks cease
On knees bleed scream or go tell it to the marines
The bee’s knees buckle
Why Lout? scream “bruckle”
Said it before man I don’t know fuck all
I mind what’s mine and I sever on swine
Rah, you picked a fine time to define what’s mine

Bah bah bah!

Get drunk
Mine, yours, rah for the cause
On something
Mine, yours, rah for the cause
Get drunk
Mine, yours, rah for the cause
On something
Mine, yours, rah for the cause

Hubba hubba honey
Hef’s gone so let’s get it on
Said it wrong one time, summer did everyone
It’s the one Donovan
Never mind that man and them
Pick a blam plan and never give a damn again
Let’s go dancing
Naked in the rain
A bit like Yazz said
Thunderstorm
Summertime
Torn among the grass
Getting head under the rainbow
Wow!
Rydw chtin gwybod how dwi’n temlo nawr!
Os ti’n meddwl fel rydw i’n meddwl,
Well!
Dyna ni cariad
Doesn’t really seem so bad
I think I’m on their blindside here
Unless they got their long range on
Calling me a queer
This time last year
Could have never seen it coming
Or becoming
But I never was a see-er
Just a be-er
And now my rent’s in arrears
On the sequel to The Fears

— Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

So, last night was ACE! Big up Miss OddKidd who was hardcore awesome, the splendiferous Dego Morty Sladey Machine, John on visuals, The Women, and the mighty Why Lout? representing in FULL. We saw jolly good times, AND THE RETURN OF PIXEL!

So, yeah, dope.

Friday in Chester, by the way, was uber-dope also. Adam Walton wrote about it pretty vividly here. Nice one Zef and Co for putting up with Jeres.

In other news, I am in Hip-Hop Connection a lot this month, which readers tell me has caused some debate in the uk hip-hop community. It should be noted, that the “fuck Rodney P” was out of context – I like dude’s records, and respect his achievements. The statement had been preceded by a lenghthy discussion regarding Dr P, Braintax, and other UK Hip-Hop traditionalists’ meanspirited and savage attacks on the 19 year old JTWR when he got signed, and their continued, greeneyeballed slating of Lady Sovereign, a woman who has single handedly dragged the Actual Woman In Rap movement into the now, and opened up huge gaping doors for the UK rap movement. The point being, whether you like the music kids are making now or not, to stand in its way and gripe is despicable. You had your chance to shine, now it is theirs. Their success can only bring further success to the whole scene.

Indeed.

— Tuesday, November 7th, 2006

A reader informs me that my album has gone up on iTunes early. You can buy it RIGHT NOW!

Simlarly, it transpires that many of those of you who preordered off of HMV got your on Saturday. Wow.

I got broken today, so I didn’t do any of the things I was supposed to. I feel quite sick and my chest seems to have a football in it. But I did write a power ballad this evening. Which I always wanted to do.

Every rose…

— Sunday, November 5th, 2006

“I have never had a plague of AIDS since I sleep with jar of gipsy tears around my neck.”
Borat

I am finding it pretty tricky to do all this video editing on my laptop, since the death of the harddrive that ran my desktop thing. But I persist anyway. Why? Cos I am a G.

So, I got back from Redditch, and the Romanian Relief Found Charity Shop on Church Street was still open. It’s shutting down, and today was it’s last day trading. It was pretty sad to see the place all ransacked and nearly dead. This is a high grade charity shop man. I have gotten some gems from their record boxes over the past year. I felt sad. Thing is though, as the place was shutting forever in eight minutes, everything was 10p. I got a fucking huge pile of gorgeous vinyl for three quid. Bonanza! Anyone in the are at 10:30 tomorrow should swing by, everything that’s left will be going for nothing, or going in the bin.

PAX!

— Monday, October 30th, 2006

HMV have got my album availiable to buy on pre-order for £6.99 inc. delivery, which is BARGAIN! I would take advantage of that if I were you, my US friends included, we currently have no US relese date. I note that “customers who bought this product also bought…

Automatic – Not Accepted Anywhere
Peter Bjorn & John – Writers Block
Classics From John Peels All Time Festive Fifty
Lisa Gerrard – Silver Tree
Dawn Of The Replicants – Singles: Bust The Trunk
Teasing Lulu – Infatuation

So there you go.

— Thursday, October 26th, 2006