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By Akira The Don on Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

At last! A pathos infused office comic for those with an IQ marginally higher than a Dilbert! All parises due to LE SMART! Go read his thing!

— By Akira The Don on Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

By Akira The Don on Friday, January 28th, 2011

WOAH! Holy cosmic clusterfuck Batman! Ricky Gervais, playing David Brent, meets Michael Scott in the US version of the US version of The Office! It’s like the sort of thing that only usually happens in comics! Dare we dream of a spin off?

— By Akira The Don on Friday, January 28th, 2011

By Akira The Don on Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

My desk has no distractions whatsoever. My distractions are my work.

Well, most the time.

— By Akira The Don on Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

passport

Yeah, I know my blog game’s been poor this week. So what? I gave you a whole mixtape on Sunday. Play that over and over and stare at the lovely sleeve until you feel inclined to spend your next pay check on Don Shoes, why don’t you. There are worse ways to pass the time.

I, for example, have been hanging out in the Passport Office in Victoria. I got a new passport, as you can see above. Well, you can see my new photo above. I’ll be damned if I’m scanning my new passport. How stupid do you think I look? Not as stupid as I did in 2002, that’s how.

Anyway. Passport office. A lot better organised than it was last time I was there. There are men wandering around with fucking guns now! This surprised me, as I am famously naive. “Well, duh,” said Littles when we were talking about it on the phone earlier. “It’s a passport factory! That’s more money than a bank! Man could run up in there with straps and be rich!”

I suppose man could. Me, not so much. I was tempted to steal a magazine in WH Smiths last week. I stood there in the isle, holding the thing (a copy of Future Music, since you asked) for a good four minutes with my pulse racing before I pussied out and out it back on the shelf. My days of crime are far behind me now. I am like George Bush.

Anyway, I have exciting things to tell you about, but I don’t want to jinx them. So I shall bid you a good day, and get back to learning my lines.

— Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

By Akira The Don on Thursday, February 12th, 2009


“I have less compassion than the average human,” claims 50 cent, over footage of a ThisIs50 employee creeping around DJ Khaled’s mothers’ work cubicle.

This has gotten really weird grotesque now. Why am I having to use the word Lynchian so much lately?

According to Miss Info, this is in retaliation to Rick Ross posting some photoshopped picture of 50′s son. Where will it end?

And yeah, I understand I am complicit here, and am concerned about what that says about me.

— By Akira The Don on Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

brit-scum

Can I get a HELL YEEEEYAH?!

I lost the past 6 months of work on Saturday when both my harddrives bricked like the last G Unit album. I shall refrain from going batshit on the manufacturers asses while we sort out what they’re gonna do about it. And I gotta tell you, I was a zen motherfucker when it happened. I did not shout, swear, scream or cry. I got on with it.

First off was redrawing the second illustration I’ve been commissioned to do for this new time travel movie that’s coming out. I was on deadline, and you know how I hate to miss a deadline. More on that soon. Ideally I’d have spent more time on the thing – there was a bunch of detail I’d have liked to have done… but shit, it looks pretty dope anyway, if I do say so myself.

Now, amongst other things, it’s time to focus on re-recording the bulk of the pre-Life Equation mixtape. This thing needs to be the best thing I have ever released,  prior to the album, which is Ultimate (no Jeph Loeb – geek joke). All ideas welcome! The thing has a name and a concept that ties in directly to the album, but I’m a keep that under my hat for a little bit. We’re looking at a March release, so I got a fortnight to get it done. I am excited to be making new music again. It feels like ages, even if it isn’t.

So, I noticed the “free” toilet papers that litter the London transport system screaming about some crazy British victory at the Grammy’s yesterday, on route to a meeting with Dr Gerd Lohnart (futururist, revolutionary, geezer) in central London yesterday. I was like, hot shit, did Sac VS Pip win something? Chipmunk? The Indelicates?

Of course not. The Inevitable Coldplay. The Incomparably Costly Duffy. The Brit School’s Adlele.

Doh.

As Ben Wardle noted recently whilst musing on the snug safeness of this year’s Who’s Gon’ Be Hot lists,  “both Duffy and Adele were heavily invested in – certainly Duffy had to happen, the financial consequences would have just been too dreadful to contemplate if it hadn’t worked.”

Yes sir. As the world turns, the music industry hangs on to its crumbling business model like Momma to the Train… pick a fistful of inoffensive clay, mash into desired shape, and lob stacks of cash at it until the general public gives in and sighs, “well, sheeeeet, this gotsta be good”.

Jack Nimble’s little brother Ben Official wrote an amusing diatribe about “Brit Robots” over at the sublimely titled youcantunwatchit.blogspot.com the other day:

With 10 million albums sold in the UK, 16 Brit Award nominations and 14 Grammy nominations between them, graduates of the Brit School in Selhurst, south London have become some of the biggest names in pop. (Don’t that make you sick!?)

…Although i am a fan Of Amy [Winehouse]‘s music and wish her good health, you gta ask is this a Brit school girl who just couldn’t handle the pressure. I can easily say that Amy Winehous is the biggest talent from the school of robots…

My question to you, ALL OF YOU! is are we going to sit by and let a school for ppl who can hit a drum in the right place or hit the c# note control Britains biggest Export! It’s a recession a good crop of artists and music could really keep morale up in this land of the Beatles and….Fuck i aint got time to list this countrys greatest Artists you know who they are and they ae not:
Leona Lewis
Katie Melua
The Kooks
The Feeling
Kate Nash
Bashy
Adele
Jack Mcmanus
Athlete
Floetry
Dane Bowers
Aggro Curls
Ye i left Amy’s name out, I LIKE HER MUSCI WHAT!!!???
People of ENGLAND RISE UP SAY NO TO CHANNEL U!, NO TO THE BRITS, NO TO NICK GRIMSHAW AND ALEXA CHUNG!(YE I HATE THEM TOO! I GOT HATE IN ME)
JUST SAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Quite. Used to be, the only routes to the Good Life for the UK’s working class were Pop Music and Football. And now a career pop music is the privelege of the sons and daughters of the rich and famous, and their Brit Schooled chums. The rest of us got our work cut out. Good job we’re some creative, intuative, forward thinking swine out here in Metered Gas Land. It’s up to us to carve a new way through the pile of rotting corpses dumped on the culture by Ye Ole Musique Industry. I think we’re up to the job. But we gotta pull together, like Zoolander. Only we can save the world.

Let’s get it!

In other news,

The Foreign Office is to fund a television advertising campaign in Pakistan to get across the message that Britain is not “anti-Islamic.”

According to the Guardian, the £400,000 campaign, titled ‘I am the west’, will feature a number of prominent British Muslims including communities minister Sadiq Khan and run for three months.

Sheeet. It’s gonna take more than £400,000 and some Uncle Thomases to convince them brown folks we don’t hate their God and their way of life more than we hate dentists and The French combined. Maybe The Foreign office might try convincing Our Glorious Leaders to stop murdering brown babies for a little while. Just a thought. I’m throwing that out there. You can have that one for free, but get at my manager if you want me to come down there and Consult your ign’ant asses.

— Tuesday, February 10th, 2009