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Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

Remember the other week I said Chilly was coming round to play a game of chess? Well, here’s the proof. Now, Dear Darling Joey neglected to put any of my really ILL moves in the video, but you should know that first blood was MINE, as was second, third, fourth, etc, and shit was looking pretty good for me for the whole first hour of the game. My defence soon crumbled after that, mind, and that Canadian swine toyed with me, as a cat might a mouse, for the last 15 minutes. At which point I had the brilliant idea of challenging him to a game of Street Fighter. Tragically my second controller ran out of battery, so the true whupping could not be administered… but you just wait. I went out and bought one of those controller chargers for £6.99 (you got £5 off it you bought an England Football team plastic figure for 5p), and next time that great big hairy Jewlord is in the building I am gonna clean his clock.

Shout out The Quietus!

Anyway. Today is kind of funky. I am doing more metadata. As you know, I recently got my entire back catalogue back, so its been taken down from the whole of the internet, and re-upped via my new label and distributor. I am also upping every single song I have ever done individually into my shop, and onto Soundcloud. Shit is REAL out here bubba. This afternoon I’m mixing ish for that compilation I asked you all about, and ATD25. It is not too late to sound of about stuff you might like in ANY OF these things. Website, compilation, whatever. I am, as always, your humble servant, after all.

Oh, and I have been taking an inventory also. If you start poking around the shop, you will notice things, like, THERE’S ONLY ONE PAIR OF HI-TOPS LEFT.

And THREE PAIRS OF PLIMSOLS.

And 5 iANDY SHIRTS.

AND SO ON!

Speaking of which, Zef got a handle on the new shop section for AkiraTheDon.com 5.0 last night, and it is looking SMART. We are gonna win some awards for this one, I am telling you. Oh, and shout out Soundcloud, who have been being very nice and helpful and have also been bumping When We Were Young this morning.

OK, back to work. You should go look at the cute old couple in the Blob Blog.

PAX!

— Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

Sunday, September 5th, 2010

— Sunday, September 5th, 2010

Friday, August 27th, 2010

Chess We Can!

“What you just witnessed was my death,” lamented Gonzales at around 1am this morning, but it felt a little more like the opposite. Yes, I saw the Anglopremière of Ivory Tower last night, Gonzales’ bittersweet, autumnal début feature film about two Canadian Chess Champions (Triple Ceeeees!), also brothers, at war with each other and themsleves. Gonzales plays Hershall Graves, former chess champion and The Idealistic Hippie Brother, plying a victor-less take on the game that he dubs “jazz chess”, whilst Tiga channels some of Tom Cruise’s Frank from Magnolia for the revenge-capitalist War Machine Brother Thaddeus, who’s apartment is awesome and who’s TV is also a mirror (Want).

Peaches puts in a superb performance as the brother’s shared love interest (although the less that is said about her wig the better). As you might expect, her character isn’t the typical 2D trophy chick we’re used to seeing, but she’s not any kind of turbo-feminist puke-punk-characture either (incidentally, Peaches once vomited fake-blood on me in a hotel in central London but that’s another story). Indeed, her character exhibits an alarming and disarming sweetness and fragility, and is easily the most “real” and likely the most relateable character for most people.

Certainly I, as a sometime egomaniac, narcissistic artist type found much to relate to in both brothers. Hershell’s struggle with authenticity, spirituality, and not wanting to hurt people was beautifully, and tragically posed, while Thaddeus’s struggles with power and superficiality were not only truthful and brilliantly entertaining, but perched atop a profound sadness bubbling away acidically beneath every moment of humour… of which there are plenty, thanks, according the the little Q and A afterwards, to Tiga himself, who rewrote his own dialogue in order to save himself from what could have been a huge public embarrassment had the movie turned out like many buddy-run projects.

The thing is… it did not, and even without the dark hilarity interjected by Mr Sunglasses At Night, this would still have been a fine work, able to stand proudly on its own away from the music, and the egos that inspired it. The movie is charming, affecting, emotive, playful, beautiful to look at, and boasts a fucking ill ass soundtrack, that any other movie on general release will find bloody difficult to come close to. Unless Hanz Zimmer’s doing it, obviously, he’s practically infallible.

Joey didn’t get me pregnant, by which I mean he pulled out at the last minute (but I must forgive him, as he is a sweet and sensitive creature, and we did record some flipping bangers yesterday), so I sat alone on one of Screen On The Green‘s plush two-man sofas, and very bloody comfortable it was too. There was even a foot rest. The popcorn was a little stale, and the Guinness came from a can, but that those were the only quibbles I could make about the whole experience (well, those and Peaches’ wig) speaks volumes. I look forward to seeing it again. With some fresh popcorn.

The Q&A finished at 1am, and I cycled home in the pissing, spitting, retching rain, and happened upon a mobile telephone device, blinking forlornly in a puddle. I returned it to its owner this afternoon on my way to the gym, and she tried to give me £20, and I refused it, then her boyfriend tried to give me £20, and I refused that too, and they both agreed that their faith in humanity had been somewhat restored.

My faith in humanity is rock solid, based on little solid evidence and a lot of conjecture, although you might remember that I lost my telephone around this time last year after getting so pissed at a wedding that I ran away from the party and my girlfriend without warning at around 2am and proceeded to go on some weird bamboozled adventure across London, wherein I managed to get into a fight with a taxi driver – actually maybe it was two taxi drivers - and totally left my phone in the back of his taxi. So I really wasn’t expecting anyone to ring me the next day saying they’d found it in the back of a cab, apart from maybe the cabbie, who wished to track me down and pull my larynx out with his bare hands or something. But, lo, a nice young man who was about to have baby (well, his girlfriend was, obviously, dude’s don’t have babies, no matter what The Weekly World News and Tory HQ might have you believe) totally gave me my phone back, and I didn’t give him £20, so I wasn’t about to take it off of anyone else thank you very much.

No!

Anyway, I am totally going to a wedding in bloody Grimsby tomorrow, so I shall try very hard not to go apeshit on whiskey and flee alone into the night like a greased piglet shot out of a cannon. It shouldn’t be too hard, as I have matured an awful lot this past year thank you. Why, only today I bought one of those Digital Art magazines instead of a Spider-Man comic, and I deliberately put chopped vegetables in my mackerel and rice yesterday. Who’d ever have thunk it in a billion years?

http://www.dec.org.uk/

— Friday, August 27th, 2010

By Akira The Don on Saturday, August 7th, 2010

— By Akira The Don on Saturday, August 7th, 2010

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

We survived, dear reader! The hordes of art people descended upon our little home for three days of terrible music and the smashing of bottles of lager! And lo it was like the bit in the Magic Porridge Pot when the little village is flooded with porridge. But with worse music. Avast! Look, here’s some footage I took last night at 11:30pm:

See? Exactly!

Anyway. We had a nice time actually. On Friday we hung out a bit and drank some ales, and on Saturday we watched Gonzales destroy the Bugged Out Tent at Field Day. Here he is with The Cock N Bull Kid. And yes, that’s Mocky on the right. Forsooth!

Cock N Bull kid recorded a song at Don Studios III a few years back, with Miss Odd Kid. I should dig that out and play it on The Doncast.

After that we escaped to my little brother’s house in North London, where he and his lady were kind enough to beat us at Articulate. On Sunday we went to Ikea, and I had a meltdown in the carpark because I was hungry and nobody was taking my suggestions as to how to fit the bookcase in the car seriously, and the bastards were piping shit chart music with no bass and too much top end at too-high volumes.

Today Gonzales came round and we did some dope music for the Donzo mixtape.

This evening I played some Gay Tony and started doing some more Dondoodles. That’s one up top.

Anyway. Enough of me. How are you?

— Monday, August 2nd, 2010

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – The Doncast # 20 (Right Click and Save As)

Click here to subscribe with your iTunes thingy.

Daaaaamn!

This is a classic Doncast right here. Gonzales is my special guest – he was in the building cos we’d been recording the first track of our JOINT MIXTAPE. Yes. It is true. Akira + Chilly = DONZO. Get ready! But not too ready, cos it will take time. Don’t dare try and rush genius! Unless you’re making a mixtape in 24 hours! Etc!

Anyway. We chat about the awesomeness of Rick Ross, intricacies of Canadian culture, my lack of knowledge of South American military leaders, we play EXCLUSIVE HEAT from Gonzales’ new LP, Ivory Tower, and we do some flipping LIVE RAPPING and PLAYING MY SUITCASE KEYBOARD.

Wow! What a show!

I hope you enjoy it, and I apologise for how long it took to get it up.

AHAHAHAH!

Get it up.

Anyway, as we announce in the Doncast, this DONZO tape is most likely gonna be, musically at least, based in JEWISHNESS, and we welcome your suggestions for things to sample. Please leave them in the comments!

OK, bedtime for me now. Actually, I gotta draw a mind map.

Oh well.

PEACE AND FUCKING LOVE!

@!

PREVIOUSLY:

I am having to reinstall my machine (again!) cos I tried to do some super-boffin type stuff that was way beyond my true comprehension and made my machine into a dummy. Sometimes those internet guys do not know what the funk they are talking about.

The good news, however, is that the fine folks at Capcom only went and sent me a flipping X BOX, as a token of respect for the fine work I did on The Street Fighter Mixtape. So I can have a go on that while the reinstall does its thing. Whoo-eeeh! Oh my DAYS! Seriously, I don’t think some of you guys know quite what this means to me.

Longtime readers of this site will know that I have been jonesing for an X-Box for flipping YEARS. Hell, I have a whole song about it it. The chorus goes, “where’s my X-box/where’s my X-box/never mind a Lexus/I just want an X-box.” I can’t even remeber if I realsed that. Either way, right now I am singing that to myself, then looking at the coffe table behind me and going, “there’s my X-Box!”

I’m gonna play GTA and Street Fighter. I am so excited my belly is doing little wiggly things. BOULANJERIE! Thanks Capcom!

— Wednesday, July 21st, 2010