Thank you mighty universe, for blessing my life with the wonder of Leslie Nielson! He was so awesome! So handsome! So cool! So deeply fucking funny!
Those pedestrian lulz you enjoy most days are but wet-patches to the tsunami of funny that was Leslie Nielson. May his conciousness mate with a planet and create the most awesome place in the multiverse.
I was feeling good today. Music was inspiring me. AWK and Mef all day. I felt amazing. Blessed, fresh, like a million bucks. Put on my Christmas jacket and my ole Don Chucks. Man, they only fucked around and opened a bar around the corner from my yard. Two years I’ve been here, and no bar. Just me, my girl and a corner shop. Now they’re shutting the trains off, killing off the foot traffic and my Turkish friends gotta downsize. The cheeky young scamp Gerkhan, who regaled me with tales of “riding horses with a shotty merking wolves” back in the old country as a was a teenager is gonna have to find a new hustle.
But we, we in our ever-evolving Industrial Estate next to the Mayan Apocalypse Olympic Park have a bar now. Hot dog! The Hackney Pearl. It sure is a nice place too. Science lab decor, London brewed beer and big-ass capers. They had a party to celebrate tonight. Free bar, dammit! If I had a laptop I’d be doing my emails in there in the mornings. My girl’s right, I need to get out of the house more. The air gives me a feeling…
Rah then. I’m still listening. Eyebrows. New hair. What you saying?
Yeah, you can cop that T-shirt, I ain’t about to stop you.
So, I got some (ha!) sleep, and I listened to the noises Birddogg was making up here while I was down in New York, doing whatever it was I was doing in New York. Like, there’s some ill stuff. But one in particular is just tremendous. it is mighty. It fills my heart. And prefectly fits so many of the raps I was writing in New York, tempom flow, everything. So, what I’ve done, is draw various raps, and bits of raps, together, to create this New York song that’s been brewing all the time I’ve been here. It is best I get it out now, before I FORGET.
Annoyingly, the necassary component is missing. So piss.
Bad: All the stuff I bought last week – food, drink, socks, weed – is gone. Mostly. I got a lot of Ritz crackers, peanut butter and macaroni.
Good: There’s a Death’s Head Moth on my window. (See right)
Bad: There is animal shit by my window.
Good: The air outside is fresh and envigorating.
Bad: The air in the top level of the house, in which I am supposed to be dwelling, is thick with the stink of animal and of animal excrement.
I went to turn on the sauna earlier, and nearly trod in cat shit. Or dog shit. It could be both. Whatever. It’s like, wow, sauna! Oh, catshit. Wow! Oh. Wow! Oh.
Etc. So, I wanted to go into town and get a job today, to pay for my ticket back to New York, but waited about for people to come with me rather than just doing it, and the end result is it’s super late now, too late to get a job anywhere, and everyone’s going into town to go out, save me, who must stay at home cos he has no ID (this is a worry), and it’s too far to chance not being allowed in anywhere.
So I should write more now. I wrote a bunch earlier. Phil is worrying that Amy has forotten his ass, as she went in her tiny car to take Cecelia and James over an hour ago. But she hasn’t forgotten him. It’s just miles from ShanGayKen to Woodstoock! A HA!
I just asked Spiky if he has a message for the world. He said, “spitroast!” So there you go.