Well, that’s that then. Off to The Phantom Zone Texas he goes.

In the words of Stan’s Dad: “See ya!”

Will we ever see another like him? Was that strange, overgrown toddler really The President? Did our reality accidentally crash into Bizarro Word sometime around the millennium? Will we all wake in a few weeks and forget any of it ever happened?

“We’ve created two worlds,” said crazy Jack Bower in a recent episode of Fox’s incredible meme-blaster, 24. “Their world – the world we’re supposed to protect, and ours.”

If nothing else, the past 8 years saw “their world” – a gross and crazy twilight zone full of rape and incest and murder and botched plots, career crazily into to ours, like a school bus driven by a woeful drunk, mad with sadness after discovering his wife of 36 years to have buggered off to Cancun with the contents of their shared bank account, and milkman called Bob.

“He was incredible,” said a woman to me today on the train. “He couldn’t do anything right!”

Maybe. Depends whose idea of “right” you’re thinking about. And, to paraphrase B.O.B., when nothing’s right, go left.

To quote a man who would probably have rather enjoyed today, “it was weird, Bubba”.

What happens next? That creepy bastard up there won’t be around to blame anymore. Perhaps “their world” will appear to shrink back into the shadows now.  But don’t worry, not much has changed – the lamp just got moved, that’s all.

Still, never mind that. My new album is awesome, and I am excited as hell about this year. As I was saying in my podcast, last year was all about Acquiring Skills, Learning My Craft, getting Good Enough. I think I’m pretty much ready.

Shout outs to Music Like Dirt, who listed my Gonzales remix at the top of their 200 Best Songs Of 08 list! I quote:

1. GONZALES – ‘Working Together (Akira The Don Remix)’ (MP3)
“I’m signed up with Hackney Freecycle… I got a free fishtank… its delightful”

In the process of compiling this list most of the top ten were at some point pencilled in as my favourite of the year. Each has its own merits as No.1 whether it’s my most listened to, the one with the best song writing or maybe the most innovative. All good reasons but in the end I opted for this simple question “Which track made you happiest?” and to that there is only one answer: Gonzo & Akira.

Misery’s not an option when listening to the stomping piano of Gonzales coupled with the wit and infectious enthusiasm of Akira The Don’s raps. On his blog Akira says he “got all excited” when he heard Gonzo’s new tune and spent the next day remixing it.
Akira always writes the most hilariously quotable raps and “Working Together” is no exception. It takes in everything from how good Freecycle is to his girlfriend pointing out the lack of space for a pig in their flat!
You can read more about the remix and all the other stuff he got from Hackney Freecycle on his blog.
If you bookmark only one blog make it Akira’s for exclusive MP3’s, a superb free mixtape, video’s, comic strips, and of course the “Thanks For All The AIDS” tshirt – the man is a god damn one man multimedia empire! In his latest post he even manages to pen the most eloquent tribute to Tony Hart I’ve read. (RIP Tony).

Akira also joined Gonzales on stage to perform the remix live back in May, and were it not for seeing Kraftwerk in a Polish steel factory, it may have been my gig of the year. Look out for “A fuck-off massive pop album” from Akira soon and if you keep an eye on the blog he’ll probably rope you into singing on it.

Forget Little Boots, if there’s any justice, 09 will be the year of the Don.

Check the rest of the list, which is full of treasure, here.

Elsewhere on the internets, a lady fashion blogger at a website called Clicka Clicka has accused me of both heeding the Guardian, and trying to look like Kurt Cobain (I take the latter as a backhanded compliment).

“Yes, that is the Salvador Dali of UK Hip-Hop, Akira the Don,” she writes, beneath this picture. “And yes he is donning (har har) a breton in some sort of attempt to look like Kurt reincarnate.”

Well, you learn something new every day, if you’re lucky. I had no idea my stripey long sleeved T thing was a “breton”. And I don’t read The Guardian! Anyways, I found the thing on a beach in Spain! I love it because it fits me, and makes me look handsome! And I’ve got another one just like that I’ve had since the late nineties, that is now too small for me and rises above my totally-loveable 20-something belly-bulge! So there!

Anyway, perhaps the nice lady at Clicka Clicka can help me out – I am actually looking for something a little similar, but with bigger stripes, in black and neon-purple. It came to me in a dream – me and my band were all wearing them, and we looked awesome. Please somebody don’t tell me that’s what Topshop have going on this year. Or sod it, do, and I’ll buy a batch regardless. Dreams don’t lie. Unless they’re MLK’s Gabrielle’s.

— Tuesday, January 20th, 2009