Incredibly detailed and speculative conversaton regarding this amazing image going on here. What the hell is that creature to the left of the giant humanoid? What’s with the religious symbolism? Is that a tear where his liver would be? Are thos elements of Giger’s Life Cycle painting in the background ARGH!

— By Akira The Don on Friday, April 13th, 2012

Lisa Pizza from Creature just sent me this, which is PRETTY MENTAL, as I was trying to find time today to up a clip from my new album that’s synched to a John Hughes clip. I did it about a year and a half ago as well. Evidently me and Creature are linked, and NOT JUST because Stephen Hague produced our albums, and NOT JUST because I’m singing on a song on their album… no, it’s because we are also Awesome, as evidenced by this song, which I love dearly.

— By Akira The Don on Saturday, June 4th, 2011

Elephant Dolphin, I dub thee DOLIPHANT!

Zef made this. He says he woke up this morning, turned to his lady, and said, “shit kel i was dreaming i was a dolphin with an elephant’s trunk”. So he made this picture. Amazing. I want it on a T-Shirt. I have half a mind to make a song so this can be the sleeve.

— By Akira The Don on Thursday, February 10th, 2011

Some impressive journalism from The Svenhunter:

For years the song ‘Holla Back Girl’ by Gwen Stephanie (who suffers from the same multiple-first name disorder as John Terry) has baffled and infuriated critics with its apparently meaningless lyrics and inane catchiness.

The former issue I can now Decode, for I have solved it:

When Gwen Stephanie sings “A few times I’ve been around that track / So it’s not just gonna happen like that” she is letting us into the secret of her age: that she is much, much older than she looks and indeed claims to be. Probably over 100.

This means she must be either a witch (unlikely – witches rarely pursue careers in pop music) or a faerie creature (for time moves differently for these people).

When she says “I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack” she clearly warns the listener that her breed of elf hunts together, which narrows it down somewhat.

Her repeated claims that “This shit is bananas” refers to the fairy folk’s capability to deceive us humans by disguising base objects as treasure. Indeed, goblins pass off all sorts of horrible things as “fruit”, and Goblin fruit, like faeces, can be addictive once you get used to consuming it.

Finally, though – in the title of the song she insists, repeatedly: “I ain’t no hollaback girl / I ain’t no hollaback girl“.

Research has led me to the conclusion that this is American slang for “I am not one of those hollow-backed girls,” referring, of course, to the curious deformation found in the huldra or huldrefolk women of Norway and other north countries. The huldra are also known for being easy lays so with Gwen and her “pack” it’s not “just gonna happen like that.”

This leads me to conclude that she belongs to the enemy clan of the huldrefolk: the trolls.

Gwen Stephanie is a pop troll. Case closed.

— By Akira The Don on Wednesday, May 13th, 2009