Oil giant Royal Dutch Shell has posted a sharp fall in quarterly profits after the price of oil slumped dramatically towards the end of last year.
Profits for the final three months of 2008 fell by 28% to $4.8bn (£3.4bn) from $6.7bn the year previously.
Oh no! That sucks for them! Hang on though, there’s a but…
But annual profits at the Anglo-Dutch company rose 14%, to $31.4bn, helped by record oil prices over the summer.
Hello! Baking powder! PROFITS of 31.4 BEEEELION DOLLAR?!?!?! Oh, harsh times at Shell! Let us weep all at once!
Shell boss Jeroen van der Veer described the fourth quarter results as “satisfactory”, given the fall in demand for oil and the weakening global economy.
I bet he fucking did, the evil bloodsucking hyena! I should say 31.d BEEEELION DOLLAR is satisfactory. What does it take to get a “fuck me, we are total evil geniuses and we win again! BWAH HA HA HA HA!” out of this dude? Crack?
In other news, Young Jeezy WON’T be appearing on Bill O’Reilly’s show, contrary to his statements the ohter day, about he was “never scared”, and suchlike. A wise move on his part, but I gotta admit I was looking forward to that. oh well.