After 4 months, the Don Family is back together. Here we see young Hercules enjoying the view of the Hollywood sign from our surprise new apartment I surprised him and his Mammadon with last Sunday after picking them up at the airport where I was shocked and stunned to find my 2DSkype family in full blown ultra 3D, the grown up lady one more beautiful than ever I could recall, glowing and shimmering like something from an epic fantasy novel, a the small boy one an effervescent sunburst of curls and joy and perfectly formed cheeks, squealing, HELLO DAAAAADDY! I BEEN FLYYYYING!”, which was nuts since last time I saw him his conversations stretched about as far as “DADDA BIKE DADDA BIKE”. Here he is enjoying one of the many cupboards. “HIDING!” he exclaimed, joyfully.
Here he is enjoying one of the many HIDING PLACES in our surprise new luxury apartment.
LADS ON LAPTOPS @wadecrescent x Hercules The Don by @akirathedon
Here he is hanging out with his uncle Wadey, who he greeted with a cheery “HELLO UNCLE WAAAADEY!” and whose room he likes to burst into in the mornings amidst extreme hangovers, partly because he loves his uncle Wadey and partly because he loves running up stairs and bursting through doors.
Cuddles with mamma and Mickey, aka “Mouse”. He freaked the fuck out today on Hollywood Boulevard at some way-bigger-than-the-sft-toy Mickey and Minnie impersonators. “NO LIKE A MOUSE! NO LIKE A MOUSE!” he wept, gripping on to Mummy’s shoulder in horror. “BYE BYE MOUSE! BYE BYE MOUSE!” He spent much of the rest of the day wondering if we were going to encounter any more mice, which he repeatedly assured us he wouldn’t like, then freaked out a bit again when he realised there were pictures of some “mice” on his nappy. He probably thinks there’s some dastardly cosmic mouse plot against him, poor lil guy.
Gazing at the fish. He loves the fish. “I FEED A FEEEESH!” he announces merrily every day.
We went to Santa Monica the other day. It was just like it is in GTA. We stole an aeroplane and everything. “I FLY! I FLYYYY!” squealed Hercules. “‘GEN,” he demanded as soon as it finished. Hercules is brave as fuck.
Speaking of which, we went to my buddy Peter’s birthday party by the old LA zoo in Griffith Park the other day. There were twenty or so people there, none of whom Hercules had ever met, which bothered him not one bit. He ran around, introduced himself to everybody, butted in a game of croquet, petted some strangers’ dogs, followed some girls to the toilet, and went running off into the caves without once looking back. “I run away,” he announced proudly, after I dragged him back from one such escape attempt, before trotting back to the party beaming, ” I see friends.”
Oh, how happy my family makes me. What an amazing job my beautiful wife has don with our boy, in these four months that my parenting has extended as far being a big sleepy/hungover 2D face on Skype twice a day or there abouts and reading the occasional story. Our son is funny, clever, articulate, charming, beautiful, healthy, and fearless, apart from giant-sized mice, which is fair enough frankly, had I never seen a life sized Mickey Mouse before I might be inclined to push it in front of a car and run for the hills.
They’re only here for another 3 weeks, then they fly back for another month, then back here again, and it will be hard, but it will be easy too, because I know that soon we will be together forever, making the lives we dreamed of, making each other proud, making memories to carry with us back into the stars one day. Lucky mud, as Kurt Vonnegut had it. Lucky, lucky mud.