Thursday, February 5th, 2015

Akira The Don - Dreaming Of America

So just before Christmas I made a new item available in my shop, as I’d just emigrated and didn’t have an shirts or anything for people to gift each other with at those most Wonderful Time of Year. That item was A SONG, written and executed by me, Akira The Don, about whatever the person who bought it wanted. Sleeve also.

I did one of these songs last week, for a safe British dude called Ben. His friends clubbed together to get it him for his birthday, and sent me a very sweet letter enquiring as to whether the item was still available, which it was, and whether I was able to do it within the fortnight, which I was.

“Well that’s gonna make somebody happier than you can imagine,” came the reply, along with a list of things they wanted including in this song they were getting for their best friend’s birthday from one of his most favouitest musicians, truly a futuristic and amazing gift if e’er there was one.

The list was extensive, and included the following:


Ben’s love of John Hughes films – esp Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (this film taught Ben essential life skills for a teenage lad!)

Quentin Tarantino
Beastie Boys
Morrissey and The Smiths
The Rocky movies
Escape To Victory

Be fun to refer to changing technology of Ben’s life – when he was at school he had a Commodore 64, then Playstation, now it’s smartphones, twitter and facebook

Wes Anderson – esp Rushmore
Paul Thomas Anderson – esp Magnolia


Ben was different from the other kids at school in that he loved American culture and sports – esp American Football, hip-hop, cool films

Ben’s favourite NFL team is Miami Dolphins, fav player was Dan Marino

We even formed our own American football team in the school playground, called the B.E. Panthers

Ben loved English literature – be great to weave some of it into the lyrics, we loved Gerard Manley Hopkins and his use of alliteration and onomatopaeia. Ben loved Shakespeare, especially Henry IV Part 1, in particular Hal’s soliloquy which he used as a mantra for life on many occasions! Be great to weave a line or two from this into it, he’d love that:-

If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wished-for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when this loose behaviour I throw off
And pay the debt I never promisèd,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glitt’ring o’er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend to make offence a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.

After school Ben went on a road trip round the States, taking in the country and culture he loved so much, where among his hi jinks he was taken in by the Moonies (church/cult)


Dudley Campus – best friends were Eddie, Christian, Jeremy, Tom Nash

Goldsmiths (nightclub) – all you can drink for 99p

Corridor 1 parties with the Dutch mafia

Stealing Farmer Dave’s milk from the kitchen

POST-UNI (last 18 years!):-

Scriptwriting / Making the short film “Going Home” in 2010 / Got played at film festival in Yorkshire

Has written several scripts, watches films every weekend, trying to get published, no luck yet!

That’s Ben’s dream, he lives for film scripts, desperately wants to be a film writer.

It will happen for him one day!

So, I poured myself a vodka soda, typed “America” into a search box, and sampled the first four bars of the first music that appeared. A few minutes later I had the chorus, and half an hour later I’d written the song. I poured another vodka soda, turned the lights down, and recorded it, right here in my MIDNITEbother Wadey’s Hollywood apartment, where a younger Ronald Reagan used to get up to all manner of no-good.

A few days later Ben was presented with his song. I’m told it was a very emotional moment.

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Anyway, I love the song, so with Ben’s permission I am sharing it today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN, you uppercase G you.

Get your VERY OWN SONG for a limited time by cleeeeking here. And enjoy this brand new MIDNITEMEN remix while you’re at it. New shit coming very soon. SPLASH!

— Thursday, February 5th, 2015

Wednesday, February 4th, 2015


60 years ago today the gods saw fit to send a sweet, dark angel to this Earth, a tiny screaming screw-faced boychild who would one day come to be known as Dr Stefan Narkiewicz, medieval history and pop music expert, archivist slash hoarder of a world famous mountain of historical music and video formats, and father of me, Akira The Don.

Thank you dear father, for the gifts that you gave me, most importantly of course a defining love of music that will guide me until I depart this mental plane and join you in Valhalla or wherever it is that Polish/Brummy Warrior Gods end up.

I love you, Stefan Narkiewicz, whose dick I verily came out of many moons ago, and I can’t wait for you to visit us, and your grandson Hercules, here in this new home we are making for ourselves in America, a land I would never have looked toward were it not for the songs you played me as a boy. Happy birthday you bad motherfucker. I’m gonna play this all day in your honour.

— Wednesday, February 4th, 2015

Thursday, January 29th, 2015

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So I’ve been doing that thing again, that thing where  have all this shit I wanna blog about, but I’m working my ass off and don’t have the requisite hour-plus to get it down properly, so more and more stuff happens and the hypothetical blog post gets bigger and bigger in my brain and thus harder and harder to find time to execute… then you realise its weeks since your last one and you need to just get something down before your website turns into that Ghost Town The Specials were sining about. So yeah. Basically its been DJing hella lots, opening a club, writing songs, having adventures, missing my family, making money,  and this past few days swagging out in a very opulent and luxurious studio with an excellent engineer called James. Here’s some photos by the mighty Ian Splashmore, AKA Passmorepics, taken during that marathon two day recording session at Red Bull Studios LA, the results of which you’ll be hearing soon enough. THE SUMMER FO SPLASH is coming!

Aight, I’m a get back to editing this video and prepping for this weekend’s DJ sets. I’m gonna be at Spare Rooms at The Roosevelt on Friday, and the brand new ultra wavy nitespot my MIDNITEMEN partner Wade “Dick Millions” Crescent just opened, BLIND DRAGON on Saturday (check the link, I designed the menus! Ha!). SPLASH!

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— Thursday, January 29th, 2015

Tuesday, January 6th, 2015

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Since we can’t post Herc’ favourite song as it isn’t out yet (Wade and I Skyped lil Herc and sang him his favourite song and did the dance routine. “Again!” he said, about 5 times), here’s his second favourite, replete with the message that’s kept us going through this crazy year since we left London and decided to emigrate to Los Angles.

“Ooooooh, everything’s gonna be OK, nega eobseodo!”

Happy Birthday Herc! And happy new year to all our friends! LOVE YOU GUYS!

— Tuesday, January 6th, 2015

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    December 31, 2014

As premiered on Complex, who write:

London-hailing, LA-based Midnitemen have just announced the upcoming release of their new mixtape, First Contact. The tape features nothing but the duo’s covers and reworkings of classics that range from Taylor Swift to Hannah Diamond to Extreme, and everything in between. As the opening track of the tape tell us:

“Somewhere beyond Sirius… Beyond space and time itself… MIDNITEMEN listen intently to the music emitting from the various planets under their eternal observation… those that interest them most are carefully examined and run through ancient PEAKWAVE algorithms. These altered musics they send back as messages, intended to announce their imminent arrival on Earth… and establish…. FIRST CONTACT…”

These “messages” are the remixes they push, creating a sort of  twisted lens filter through which they experience the world, and Midnitemen have always prided themselves on their ability to spot a hit, or an opportunity to send another message. In fact, it was they who remixed both “No Flex Zone” and “Club Going Up On A Tuesday” long before Nicki Minaj or Drake hopped on them.

FREE DOWNLOAD, in a track separated digital bundle in the format of your choice here.



Rich Gang ft Rich Homie Quann x Young Thug – Lifestyle (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Br*ka – Expectations (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

T@ylor $wift – Shake it Off (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Princess Superstar – Push You Away (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

OK GO – Writing’s On The Wall (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Theophilus London x Kanye West – Can’t Stop (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Ultra Nate – Free (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Ali Love – Perfect Picture (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

iLoveMakonnen – Club Goin Up On A Tuesday (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Shy Glizzy x 2 Cainz – Awwsome (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

The Prodigy – Out Of Space (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Hannah Diamond – Attachment (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

The C@rdigans – Lovefool (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

O@sis – Wonderwall (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Shy FX & UK Apache – Original Nuttah (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Rae Sremmurd – No Flex Zone (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Miami Horror – Wild In Motion (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Kate Bush – Wuthering Heights (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

Extreme – More Than Words (MIDNITEMEN Remix)

MIDNITEMEN – Theme From Twin Peaks 2016

“Somewhere beyond Sirius… Beyond space and time itself… MIDNITEMEN listen intently to the music emitting from the various planets under their eternal observation… those that interest them most are carefully examined and run through ancient PEAKWAVE algorithms. These altered musics they send back as messages, intended to announce their imminent arrival on Earth… and establish…. FIRST CONTACT…”


  • # Title Artist/Artists Lyrics Buy Track
Tuesday, December 16th, 2014

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It may be Sunny every day, but its STARTING TO FEEL A BIT CHRISMASSY IN LA! Yeah the snow is fake, yeah it tastes like coke. Or soap. (Cokesoap?) but whatever that guy in the matrix who also had the wig in the sopranos said. Splash. I love it.

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Splash F Thompson and Dick Millions outside Bootsy Bellows on Saturday nite, where we DJed Channing Tatum and his lovely wife Jenna Delwan Tatum’s birthday party, which was a very fly and joyous affair that included so-good-they-had-to-be-choreographed Janet Jackson dance-offs and a particularly emotional reaction to Ginuine’s Pony. This week we’re doing Henry’s on Wednesday, a party for Surfair and Tesla on Thursday, Spare Rooms Friday and Bootsys on Saturday. We will also be dropping a COLLECTION OF NEW MUSIC so HOLD TITE for the SPLASH.


Exodus Gods And Kings is the most relentlessly sadistic, dull, monodimensional antihuman garbage I have ever had the misfortune to witness. I don’t know what absolute fuckwad wrote that sick garbage but they need fucking crucifying. That shit made Troy look like The Godfather. If this was Halloween and it was rated R it might make a sliver of dumb sense, but who greenlights a grotesque snuff-slash-torture porno about a gang of crazed terrorists lead by a super-powered Damien out of The Omen then markets that as family movie at Christmas? Where’s Al Gore’s wife, frothing at the mouth about how we need to save the children from this evil bullshit?The only good thing I can say about the experience is it was a free screening with complimentary popcorn and I didn’t hang around for the Q & A with Joel Edgerton (who played Ramases, the only vaguely sympathetic character in the foul thing as he has the balls to stand up to the evil baby-massacring demon-boy-god) because the only thing I could think to ask was WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS BEAUTIFUL DID YOU DO THIS TO HUMANITY YOU SHILL FUCK HOW MUCH THE PRICE OF YOUR SOOOOOOOUL?Why the heads of Abrahamic Religions worldwide didn’t get this folly stopped before people could witness it is beyond me as there is no way a sane person can come away from this thinking anything other than DAMN SON YOUR SKYGOD IS A SICK FUCK AND ANYONE WHO WORSHIPS THAT SICK FUCK NEEDS AN ADAMANTIUM STRAITJACKET PRONTO YOU GUYS MAKE SATANISTS LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING CARE BEARS KINDLY STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY FOREVER.

I would give this, like, 2 out of 10, but then some people are gonna think this bullshit is historically factual and use it as some moral basis for their fucked up opinions and actions so this shit gets a minus 8. CHEERS RIDLEY SCOTT YOU ACTUALLY MADE A WORSE FILM THAN PROMETHEUS YOU FUCKING GENIUS.

— Tuesday, December 16th, 2014