I hope you enjoyed that. I certainly could have done with the comic relief. So I did. Um. Do with it.
Hey kids! Guess what your awesome popstar pal Akira The Don (that’s me folks!) has been doing today?
NO! I haven’t been doing cocaine! Guess again!
NO! I haven’t been doing Yo Mamma (whoever she is!), GUESS AGAIN!
NO, you big SILLY I haven’t been Doing The Do!
I’ve been doing my VAT RETURNS!!!!!
Sorting out piles of receipts and going, fuck me, do I really spend that much on electricity, and writing it in a big XL file, then deleting it out of the XL file cos you’re only supposed to put relevant data in the XL file, and NOT SWEARING! FUCK!
That’s right. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! Cock-a-doodle-FUCK! How do I owe hundreds of pounds in VAT when I don’t HAVE hundreds of pounds?
Damnation, I need an accountant. And a manager. And a MEELION DOLLARS.
Mmm. A meelion dollars.
Have another joke while I collect myself.
I NEEDED THAT!
By the way, these jokes are all from the pages of Evan Dorkin’s Dork Volume 1: Who’s Laughing Now, which I highly recommend. A young lady ran off with mine many moons ago, now I come to think of it. I got this one still, though. And it’ll be Xbox soon. Anyway, Comics212 have been running them on the daily. Yes indeed. Good times.
Anyway. That wedding was good times but BAD NEWS, since it had a FREE BAR with WHISKEY IN IT, and those of you that have known me for more than a year will know full well the danger of that sort of a combination. Naturally it had me legging it across London at 4am with no idea where, or why I was, being pursued by irate taxi drivers and suchlike. I lost my phone and everything. Fail!
So, yeah, recovery yesterday, VAT all day today, so I haven’t had time to deal with that epic battle yet, but don’t think I won’t, cos I will, so there. OK? GRAYTE!