HAHAHAHA!

I hope you enjoyed that. I certainly could have done with the comic relief. So I did. Um. Do with it.

Yes.

Anyway.

Hey kids! Guess what your awesome popstar pal Akira The Don (that’s me folks!) has been doing today?

NO! I haven’t been doing cocaine! Guess again!

NO! I haven’t been doing Yo Mamma (whoever she is!), GUESS AGAIN!

NO, you big SILLY I haven’t been Doing The Do!

I’ve been doing my VAT RETURNS!!!!!

Oh BOY!

Sorting out piles of receipts and going, fuck me, do I really spend that much on electricity, and writing it in a big XL file, then deleting it out of the XL file cos you’re only supposed to put relevant data in the XL file, and NOT SWEARING! FUCK!

That’s right. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! Cock-a-doodle-FUCK! How do I owe hundreds of pounds in VAT when I don’t HAVE hundreds of pounds?

CRAP!

Damnation, I need an accountant. And a manager. And a MEELION DOLLARS.

Mmm. A meelion dollars.

Have another joke while I collect myself.

AHAHAHAHAHA!

I NEEDED THAT!

By the way, these jokes are all from the pages of Evan Dorkin’s Dork Volume 1: Who’s Laughing Now, which I highly recommend. A young lady ran off with mine many moons ago, now I come to think of it. I got this one still, though. And it’ll be Xbox soon. Anyway, Comics212 have been running them on the daily. Yes indeed.  Good times.

Anyway. That wedding was good times but BAD NEWS, since it had a FREE BAR with WHISKEY IN IT, and those of you that have known me for more than a year will know full well the danger of that sort of a combination. Naturally it had me legging it across London at 4am with no idea where, or why I was, being pursued by irate taxi drivers and suchlike. I lost my phone and everything. Fail!

So, yeah, recovery yesterday, VAT all day today, so I haven’t had time to deal with that epic battle yet, but don’t think I won’t, cos I will, so there. OK? GRAYTE!

— Monday, August 31st, 2009

Photo by C Whewell

STREAM: B.o.B AKA Bobby Ray – Cloud 9

No reason for that title other than that’s what I’m listening to right now. OWWWWW! Bobby ray inspires me you know. Thanks Bobby Ray! You rule!

Serious, if you haven’t downloaded this yet, your life sucks.

Yes. Play it loud and be glad.

So, you crazy buggers are still going on the 21010 Comp. I am proud of you, you know that? What clever, dedicated sods you are.

SHAME THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Hahaha. The competition will stay open till 2, which is 24 hours, and means the Yanks get a fair inning. OK Yanks?

Now, I am off to a wedding, so you’ll have to wait till tomorrow to see who won, and who won what. Although if you care that much you could probably work it out for yourselves.

Autumn landed, fellow wetlanders. Enjoy the last gasps of sunshine before winter shows up early like an over keen party guest and pukes on the rug.

PAX!

— Saturday, August 29th, 2009

OOOOh KAAAAAAY!

It’s Friday.

You can’t be arsed to do your job.

You need a reason to waste your time.

I give you a reason:

GLORY!

and

PRIZES!

Yes, it’s competition time.

You can win:

1st prize: A PAIR OF DON SHOES!

Runners up will win prizes including: T-Shirts! The Omega Sanction, Thieving & Stunners 130 on CD! Stickers! badges! MP3s! Doodles! Etc!

So, what do you gots to do?

Well.

I want YOU to name the songs featured in my 210 songs in 10 minutes record breaking ultra-mix.

Leave them in the comments, or post them on Twitter with the following hashtag:

#21010 http://bit.ly/2mis67

The 1st prize winner will be the entrant with the most CORRECT guesses (limit yourself to one guess per post/tweet so I can calculate easier!). HOWEVER! I am not expecting a single individual to name them all. Between you all, I suspect you might come close. Only together are we that awesome. So I will be adding all the names of CORRECT entrants to a digital hat, and picking a winner an hour for the rest of the day. Those winners will then go into another digital hat, where their prizes will  be worked out randomly.

OK?

GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

— Friday, August 28th, 2009

Akira The Don @ The Natural History Museum from akdonovan on Vimeo.

Ha! That’s some footage of our Natural History Museum gig I just found on my Facebook “fan” page that one Nic Cox upped. We’re kicking off Working Together. Nice clapping skills, crowd. I might have to kill that Facebook “fan” page though, I never use it. I have a personal one I use a little more (not much), maybe I should just rock with that. Two is confusing, and I hate to not do things properly. Speaking of which, I might delete my Myspace page. Any opinions? I have always hated Myspace. It is ugly and clunky and a cancer on the internet. I hate the idea that people would go there first… and I hate logging into it. I makes me feel gross and nauseous.

Anyway, that AkiraTheDon.com 5.0 is close. All other websites will cease to exist when that ish drops. I’m looking at YOU Huffingtonpost. YOU Guardian.co.uk. YOU… tube. Ha!

Batman & Robin # 3 dropped yesterday. OH BOY it is AWESOME AGAIN! It remnded me of the feeling American Comics gave me when I was reading them as a nipper. Truly. Fast, bold, exciting, packed to the hilt with POW… Yeah, you could wait for the trade, or you could enjoy comics as they were mant to be, right now. Short sharp colourful jabs in the face. KRAKOW!

Yeeeeah, bwoyee. Truth be told, B&R‘s the only comic I’m reading regularly right now. Presumably there’s other worthy stuff happening out there in comic book land. What am I missing out on? Fill  figga in, win a no-prize.

Oh, and if you don’t read The ISB it’s you that missing out. Chris Simms is the funniest comic blogger in the whole damn internets, and today, he returns to one of his favourite subjects – Silver Age Jimmy Olsen Comics, which are REALLY MENTAL THINGS. Check it:

Yowzers. So, um, apologies to the couple hunnerd of you that were trying to listen to that new Drake/Kanye/Wayne/Em joint while I was asleep last night – I started re-upping the tag-less audio, then forgot about it and switched the machine off. Doh. It’s working now, and it sounds better today than it did last night. Still not feeling Em on it mind, and I still don’t believe a word that comes out of Drake’s mouth. He’s the most insincere rapper I have ever heard, I swear. ‘Specially when he says “bitch”. Dude, you don’t use that word in real life! Sheeee-it.

Finally, thanks to everyone who’s been forwarding my Feat Of Awesome around the internets. I’m gonna do a competition for it tomorrow, so study that ish like it was GCSE’s tomorrow. And you gave two craps.

— Thursday, August 27th, 2009

STREAM: Akira The Don On XFM’s The Remix (Radio Rip)

(The actual mix is 4 minutes in if you can’t be arsed to listen to me and Eddy talking)

I swear, there is something wrong with me. There was no need for me to make a video for my record-breaking 210 songs in 10 minutes feat of awesome, but I did it anyway. It took me two days when I should have been doing an infinite number of other things, but sweet lord, it is dope. That’s what part of the inside of my brain looks, and sounds like.

I hope you like it!

For the record, not EVERY song included in the mix  is represented visually, but most of them are. Check back here in the next day or so for a full list of the songs featured, and a download.

PAX!

— Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

STREAM: Akira The Don On XFM’s The Remix (Radio Rip)

(The actual mix is 4 minutes in if you can’t be arsed to listen to me and Eddy talking)

DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – 21010 (Right click and Save As, yes?)

See that? That Eddy Temple-Morris bowing to my awesomeness cos I went up in his studio at XFM and SMASHED HIS RECORD LIKE A PINYATA. Like it says in the title. That’s me, post-record-smashing. I see Brad Pitt’s stolen my look. Where’s that gif?

There he is.

So, yeah. I did it baby! I beat the record held by Wizard from Deekline And Wizard and mixed a staggering 210 of my favouritest joints into ten minutes.

Truefactz!

Eddy was impressed:

he said, on his Twitter. He just got into Twitter, he loves it. He was still looking at it on the Twitter homepage though, the big silly, so I told him to get Tweetdeck and now his life is better.

Anyway. WHAT AN AWESOME THING THAT WAS TO DO! Thanks for the oppurtunity Eddy. I cannot tell a lie, I spent 3 days on it, which is crazy, but I think it was worth it. People seemed to enjoy it anyway. I’m ripping the show right now, and will have that up here later for you to listen to. We’ll be making a CDQ version of the mix available for download later this week.

FTW!

EDIT, 03/11/09: OK. Here’s the full list of songs used. Bear in mind there ARE ACTUALLY MORE… I just forgot to note some of them as I went along. For a start, the first thing you hear is David Hasslehoff’s intro from my Curbcrawling Rapists’ Anthem, from ATD16… but still. Also bear in mind this list isn’t in the EXACT order… but most of the songs are in the right ballpark. OK? OK!

Akira The Don 21010 – The Components

1.    Alice Cooper – Poison
2.    KLF – 3AM Eternal
3.    Jeff Wayne – War Of The Worlds
4.    Mogwai – Mogwai Fear Satan
5.    Bon Jovi – Living On A Prayer
6.    Gary Moore – Like Teardrops
7.    New Order – True Faith
8.    New Order – Blue Monday
9.    Snap – The Power
10.    Tag Team – Woomph (There it is)
11.    Dead Prez – Hip-hop
12.    MOP – Ante Up
13.    Pharoe Monch – Simon Says
14.    Reel 2 Real – I Like To Move It
15.    Skee Lo – I Wish
16.    Soul Brothers – The Groove
17.    The Pet Shop Boys – West End Girls
18.    The Smiths – This Charming Man
19.    Leonard Cohen – A Thousand Kisses Deep
20.    Extreme – Get The Funk out
21.    Kiss – God Gave Rock N Roll To You
22.    Akira The Don – Living In The Future
23.    The Flying Pickets – Creep
24.    A Tribe Called Quest  – Can I  kick it
25.    Billy Joel – Anthony’s Song
26.    Sultans of ping FC – Where’s Me Jumper
27.    The Beastie Boys – Shame In Your Game
28.    Jilted John – Going Steady
29.    Kicks Like A Mule – The Bouncer
30.    Busta Rhymes – Woo hah (Got You All In Check)
31.    Mott The Hoople – All The Young Dudes
32.    Prince Far I – Commandment Of Drugs
33.    Prince – Get off
34.    Beverly Craven – Promise Me
35.    The Primitives – Crash
36.    Aerosmith – Living On The Edge
37.    Tori Amos – Past The Mission
38.    Outkast & Slick Rick – Da Art of Storytelling
39.    Envy – Set Yourself On Fire
40.    Johny Cash – When The Man Comes Around
41.    Van Morrisson – Jackie Wilson Said (I’m In Heaven When You Smile)
42.    Max B – Never Wanna Go back
43.    Alice Cooper – Billion Dollar babies
44.    Menswe@r – Daydreamer
45.    Gene – Olympian
46.    James Brown – Funky Drummer
47.    Geto Boys – The G Code
48.    Soft cell – Tainted Love
49.    The Beastie Boys – Body Movin
50.    Wu-Tang Clan – Da Mytery Of Chessboxin’
51.    Opus III – It’s A Fine Day
52.    Michael Jackson  – Rock With You
53.    ODB – Shimmy Shimmy Ya
54.    MF Doom – Super
55.    Ministry – Jesus Built My Hotrod
56.    Adam Green – Bluebirds
57.    Billy Bragg – A New England
58.    Alcoholics ft ODB – Hip-Hp Drunkies
59.    Big Narstie – Back
60.    Vainilla Ice – Ice Ice baby
61.    Chris de Burgh – A Spaceman Came Travelling
62.    Queen ft David Bowie – Under Pressure
63.    Dead Prez – Police State
64.    Alice Cooper – Clones
65.    Tom Petty – Free Falling
66.    The Human League – Human
67.    Akira The Don ft Swiss – Rick Witter
68.    Arab Strap – Kate Moss
69.    Nick Cave – God Is in The House
70.    PRML SCRM – Kill All Hippies
71.    Kate Bush – Running Up That Hill
72.    Dre Dre – The Next Episode
73.    Diana Ross – I Will Survive
74.    Rick James – Flashdanbce
75.    Jim Carrol Band – People Who Died
76.    Bros – When Will I Be Famous
77.    Damian Marley – Confrontation
78.    Afrika Bamaataa & The Soul Sonic Force – Planet Rock
79.    Sean Paul – Gimme The Light
80.    Rick James – Hard To Get
81.    Warren Zevon – Lawyers Guns And Money
82.    ABC – Millionaire
83.    Ray Parker Junior – Ghostbusters
84.    Huey Lewis And The News – Hip To be Square
85.    Dizzee Rascal – Sirens
86.    The Simpsons – Do The Bartman
87.    Cutty Ranks – Rude Boy Number
88.    Tone Loc – Funky Cold Medina
89.    RZA ft Cilvarings  – You’ll Never Know
90.    LL Cool J – Roc The bells
91.    Big Pun – Who Is A Thug
92.    Lethal Bizzle – Babylon’s Burning The Ghetto
93.    Ghostface ft Jadakiss – Run
94.    The Rutts – Babylon’s Burning
95.    Elastica – Connection
96.    Akira The Don ft Why Lout?  – BOOM
97.    Dr Dre – Bang Bang
98.    Ill Bill – White Nigger
99.    Prince – Sexy MF
100.    Belle And Sebastian – If You’re Feeling Sinister
101.    Andrew WK – It’s Time To Party
102.    Ice Cube – Good Day
103.    Large Professor – Hardcore Hip-hop
104.    EMF – Unbelievable
105.    Technotronic – Pump Up The Jam
106.    Wu-Tang – Wu-Tang Clan Aint Nothin’ Ta Fuck With
107.    Transvision Vamp – Baby I Dont care
108.    Gonzales – Futuristic Aint Shit To Me
109.    Salt n Pepa – Push it
110.    Warren G – Regulate
111.    Rick Ross – Speeding
112.    My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade
113.    Akira The Don – Ask Amanda palmer
114.    Young Jeezy ft R Kelly – Go Getta
115.    Q-Tip – Breathe And Stop
116.    Cyndi Lauper – True Colours
117.    Hanson – Mmm Bop
118.    Paul Simon – Diamonds on The Soles Of Her Shoes
119.    Eels – Grace Kelly’s Blues
120.    Nicholas Cage – Love Me Tender
121.    Akira The Don – Oobie Doo
122.    Mike And The Mechanics – St Elmo’s Fire
123.    Tom Robinson Band  – 2468 Motorway
124.    L’trimm – The Cars That Go Boom
125.    ODB ft Kelis – Baby I Got Ya Money
126.    Nas – If I Ruled The World
127.    J Dilla – Nothing Like This
128.    Biz Markie – Turn Back The Hands Of Time
129.    Big Pun – So Hard
130.    Barry White – You See The Trouble With Me
131.    The Beach Boys – Wouldn’t It be Nice
132.    Journey – Don’t Stop Believing
133.    The offspring – Self Esteem
134.    MF Doom as King Geedorah – I Wonder
135.    The Bloodhound Gang – The Bad Touch
136.    Busted & McFly – Build Me Up Buttercup
137.    Cher – Believe
138.    U2 – With or Without You
139.    Jackson 5 – Can You Feel It
140.    Bob Marley – Buffalo Soldier
141.    Daft Punk – Harder Better Faster Stronger
142.    Howard Jones – Like To Get To Know You Well
143.    The Proclaimers – 500 Miles
144.    The Beatles – Let it Be
145.    The Beatles  – Sgt Peppers Lonely Heartclub Band
146.    MC Hammer – Pray
147.    Aphex Twin – Come To Daddy
148.    Ice Cube – We be Clubbin
149.    Wham – Young Guns (Go For It) 12 inch remix
150.    A-Ha – Take On Me
151.    Super Furry Animals – If You Don’t Want Me To Destroy You
152.    Peaches – Fuck The Pain Away
153.    Pulp – This Is Hardcore
154.    Toto – Africa
155.    John Travolta and Olivia Newton John – Summer Loving
156.    DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince – Boom Shake The Room
157.    Tekken – Chaos
158.    Men At Work –  Down Under
159.    The Monkees – Daydream Believer
160.    Madonna – Like A Prayer
161.    Nas – Ether
162.    Robot Needs Oil – Volta
163.    Method Man and Redman – How High
164.    Blackstreet – No Diggity
165.    Digitalism – Jupiter’s Room
166.    Public Enemy – Bring The Noise
167.    Akira The Don – Thanks for All The AIDS
168.    Azzido Da Bass – Doomsnight
169.    Fat Man Scoop – Be Faithfull
170.    Wu-Tang Can – CREAM
171.    Akira The Don – I Don’t Hate The Beatles Anymore
172.    The Shamen – Move Any Mountain
173.    Akira The Don ft Envy – Nothing Lasts Forever
174.    The Streets – Has It Come To This
175.    Aretha Franklin – Pride (A Deeper Love)
176.    C & C Music Factory – Things That Make You Go Hmm
177.    Belinda Carlise – Heaven is A Place On Earth
178.    Grandmaster Flash – The Message
179.    Shaggy – It Wasn’t Me
180.    999 – Emergency
181.    George Clinton – Flashdance
182.    Motor – Sweatbox (Chris Liebing Remix)
183.    Meatloaf – Heaven can Wait
184.    Carter USM – After The Watershed
185.    Morrissey – Irish Blood
186.    Keith Harris And Orville – Orville’s Song
187.    The Bangles – Eternal Flame
188.    Chris de Burgh – Broken Wings
189.    Digitalism – Zdarlight (Bag Raiders Shout It All Out Mix)
190.    Digitalism – Zdarlight (Discodrome Remix)
191.    Nirvana – All Apologies
192.    Lil Wayne – Go DJ
193.    Pheonix – If I Ever Feel Better
194.    Envy – Lullabye
195.    Lil Kim – No Matter What People SaY
196.    Akira The Don – Jamie
197.    Guns N Roses – Sweet Child Of Mine
198.    SebastiAn – Greel
199.    Marvin – That One Time
200.    Dizzee Rascal – Stand Up Tall
201.    Littles – Ur Doe
202.    Usher ft Ludacris – Yeah
203.    Ghostface – Love Session
204.    Kool Keith – Drugs
205.    Gravediggaz – SUICIDE
206.    Birdman – 100 Million
207.    Usher ft Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
208.    The Pychedelic Furs  -Heaven
209.    Akira The Don – So Good
210.    Notorious BIG  – Who Shot Ya

— Saturday, August 22nd, 2009