So, I happened upon Courtney Love’s Myspace somehow, and I was shocked and ashamed to discover that she has FUCKED UP HER FACE with some knives. What fuckery is this? Shit! When I was 14 I thought Courtney Love was the BOMB.

Not so much now.

So, it’s Brainwashed Manchurian Candidate McCain for the red team!

I promise you it’ll be Hillary for the blues. It is written in the sands. I should put a bet on. If I am wrong about this I will listen to Beatles records non stop for a week.

So, those bees. Remember how all the bees have been disappearing (last year about 750,000 of the 2.5m hives in the US were wiped out in “mysterious circumstances”, and the same thing is happening in Europe now), and what a scary prospect (DEATH FOR ALL!) no bees is? Adam Fletcher has alerted me to the impact of the bee’s bugger-offage on the ice cream industry, who are talking about Colony Collapse Disease (CCD). “The mysterious and unique aspect of CCD,” writes The Guardian, “is that the bees are not being found dead near their colonies. They are flying off; just abandoning their life’s work, leaving behind the queen and a few younger bees.”

What would make a bee do that kind of selfish, dude-like shit? Pesticides? Mobile phones? Global Warming-ah?

Hmm. Boffins have linked CCD with a virus imported from Australia known as IAPV or Israeli Acute Paralysis Virus, which merked a load of Israeli bees in 2004. The Aussies deny this vehemontley, mind. Anyway, the boffins have been breeding IAPV resistant bees. PRETTY CLEVER! Not necessarily a solution, given we’re not sure it’s IAVP doing the bee merkage. Still. The USDA are looking into solutions. And when I say USDA, I do not mean Young Jeezy’s crew, fool. I mean the United States Department Of Agriculture, fool!

So, thanks Fletch for that update. You good people should feel free to keep my ign’ant ass updated, and don’t be sad if I don’t mail you back right away, I am a busy man! But I appreciate everything you do! Even the dumb stuff!

Thank Crikey for interwebs. Those dang post people don’t seem to know where my house is. This is weak on their side. I live in the finest yard in all of East London. Damn!

— Thursday, March 6th, 2008

I dropped this on Playlouder just. It is a true story.

My new favorite band are a bunch of Frenchies called The Teenagers. They are well great. Sort of a 2008 Jilted John, with Pet Shop Boys pretences. Actually, they sound like that disco song off the first Belle And Sebastian record, if Stuart Murdoch had ever seen a vagina. And that Pet Shop Boys song from Flight Of The Concords, but funny. And good. They are well ace, and they are going on tour, so if someone sees this and wants to buy me a ticket, holla at me.

My little brother The Svenhunter got me into them, by the way. He was round my swanky new gaff on the weekend, leaking toxins on my sweet red rug following a night out at some gay warehouse party, playing this totally sweet electro indie record that went “I love my American cunt” or something, I was like, dude, this OWNS, and he was like, yeah, it’s this band called The Teenagers, they’re pretty sweet, and I was like, give me the album then, I am after all your elder and better, and he was like, OK.

So now I HAVE THE TEENAGERS ALBUM and it isn’t even out till March 17th, and its not on Waffles either, I just checked.

OK, tour details:
Manchester Roadhouse (April 1) Birmingham Carling Bar Academy (2) Glasgow Stereo (4) Bristol Thekla (5) Brighton Barfly (6) London Cargo (7) Leeds Faversham (12)

Like I said, if you got a ticket, HOLLA AT ME! I am like E from Eels, I hate shows, but I bet this one’s great.

— Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Hey yo! Doncast 6 – Welcome To Don Studios IV is up now! I rediscovered CDs during my move, so expect LOADS OF ACE SONGS! Jack Nimble and Marvin (formerly The Martian)’s remix of Thieving! A preview of the next “single” from Thieving, Giro! Whoooo! DONCAST 6 iTunes people should go here. It takes a whee while to refresh itself so it might not be visible there yet-AH! Other people, if you wish to subscribe to the podcast, the feed is here-AH!. Enjoy! So, Ali and I went up to Hendon in North London (which is gross) on the weekend to help Littles with his new video. Shizzio and Narstie showed too, alongside a bunch of other cats. It was dope. I met Littles’ dad, he looks, like, 12. Crazy.

— Monday, March 3rd, 2008

Your CD will be dispatched September 5th. Allow 28 days for delivery of T Shirt.

@!

— Monday, March 3rd, 2008

Hello, I have been unable to upload that podcast cos I have no internet in my house and internet cafes don’t let me instal ftp things and my mates who live locally and have internet are refusing to answer their phones. Maybe they will later.

PAXUS!

I read Small Gods by Terry Of Pratchet the other day, it was very funny and clever.

Oh, Thieving will be officially Out within 24 hous, and you’ll be able to buy it on MP3, although the Cd is cooler cos its got a big photo inlay, and there are photos of some of you lot in there I nicked off your myspaces. Didn’t know THAT did you?

Oh, here are some reviews. Cheers Gio!

Manchester Music
4/5

He’s always been threatening to do it and despite successful crossovers into the music media and charts, Akia The Don’s second album may just be the breakthrough. In the meantime though, this collection provides 21 tracks of mixes, versions and collaborations with the likes of Lethal Bizzle and Big Narstie sitting alongside a host of crucial indie samples.

ireallylovemusic

neither a new album, nor a mixtape but somewhere inbetween.
this 22 track self released artifact is a mixed bag of remixes of tracks off akiras major label funded debut, when we were young, acoustic revisits of said major label nightmares, some new bangers, and a couple of special laywer baiting bonus levels that will make you jump with joy, or writhe in agony.

ever since the whole i’m on a major label, oh, now i’m not episode (and if i am right [You're not! - AK], i think the actual phone message that declared him dropped, has been added to the mix before the gorgeous can’t go to sleep), akira has held back on his flow of mixtapes that were often dropped on his site.

instead, prior to the arrivial of the official second album, adam releases proper fully packaged cds like thieving, with made to measure artwork, and lets his fans throw him a fiver for the love-n-rent and priviledge of hearing his latest adventures, and to be honest, i think this freedom is perfect for his creative urges.

prior to thieving was the mashup/electro/dancefloor madness of stunners 130 that adam made with his hipster party monster wade crescent, whereas for this one, its all about taking it back to his hip hop roots, with a huge slab of pop-n-song thrown in for good measure.

alongside a couple of home made gangsta/chopped and screwed styled productions, the real fun is when adam takes a forgotten classic and goes all freestyle crazy over the top.
of course, most people will know of his nirvana and elastica rips (both of which appear here to complete the jigsaw), but alongside these crowd pleasers are new unexpected pleasures.

to really get the smiles going, he’s grabbed an old warren zevvon classic, werewolves of london, and just dropped the almightiest of slabs of brilliance over the top for werewolves, using the piano party loops as a foundation, the celeb/gigolo scene gets a nudge before descending into a seedy but catchy chorus involving the realities of living in rented accomodation. its hook filled and if not for the massive sample making its official release impossible, a massive radio hit. as would the brilliant xtc heavy giro that tells the story of all how many ex rock stars end up in the line for their giro, or working at woolies, all to the loops of making plans for nigel.

spread over 70+ minutes are many tales of personal issues, some funny, many heartfelt, with references to the troubles of daily life, all matched against the struggles of a man in need to tell the world stories via his chosen art, and in that sense, thieiving is by far one of the most enjoyable hip hop based albums i have heard in a long time.
a fiver well spent suckas.

— Sunday, March 2nd, 2008