July 2007
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

I am so excited!

New Wu!


Watch this shit, Raekwon is now grumpier than U God, it’s great.

— Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

“You aint never seen a motherfucker kill a motherfucker like a motherfucking nigga named Game motherfucker.”
The Game

So, I got a new favourite rap website. Allhiphop has nothing worth reading save the rumours on it. XXL is looking old, and Bol fell off harder than Mef. Spine is just ugly. Nope, it is all about HipHopDX.com. It has the best audio section of any website I have seen. it gives equal import to Atmosphere, Lil Wayne AND Crooked I.

It’s news section is great too. You hear the one about Jay Z nicking his rap persona off of Brooklyn OG Calvin “Klein” Bacote? Dude is out of prison now, and somewhat irked.

“In the 80’s … Jay was not trying to be a drug dealer, he was trying to be a rapper,” quoth Klein. “In order for him to transcend himself into this hell of a dude, he had to take characters of guys from the 80’s; one being myself… I mean I give him 10% of his life he talked about … He’s from Brooklyn. He lived in Marcy Projects. His name was Shawn Carter. He got that right”

Oooooooh, damn! This after Pimp C on that Atlantan radio station calling out Young Jeezy and a host of unnamed rappers (TI! Leetle Wayne!) for bullshitting about being coke dealers. Are the walls coming down?

I mean, it is a tricky one. Ice Cube rapped about his acquaintances lives as if they were his. He was doing an architecture degree when he was writing that first NWA album. But it was important that he said that stuff, because he said it right. You can’t leave that stuff to some illiterate D boy. The D boy’s too busy being a D boy anyway. Ya diiiig? Give a fuck. You think Johnny Cash ever shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die? Hell naw.

Oh, here’s Beanie Sigel sticking his tongue in Peedi Crack’s ear. Same Beenie who was complaining about Kanye dressing gay. Figga please! Take your high-ass tongue out of Peedi’s ear and chill on them there D-rugz sonny pie, maybe then we chat about who’s got a big ole pair of dick sucking lips and who does not!

Speaking of which, you hear the one about Jay-Z fucking over Joe Budden?

— Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

Monday, July 30th, 2007

These “crop circles” turned up in Ashbury on July 16th. The farmer who owns the land is annoyed. Forthwith:

“As the farmer of the land near Ashbury where the butterfly appeared at the weekend, I would politely ask you to tell your members that there is strictly no access to the circle. The circle can clearly be seen from the footpath and there is no need to enter the field. Obviously the people I had to ask to leave today don’t conform to your protocols, so if further trespass occurs the circle will be cut with a mower before the field is due to be harvested. I would appreciate your swift co-operation.”

Damn homie! You got a pretty butterfly in your feild! Be happy!

Me, I know very little about crop circles, but Susan Joy Rennison says they’re communication about upcoming events, like the readjusting of the earth’s electromagnetic field, and our “upgrade”. Rocks are growing hair you know. Weird shit abounds.

So, we saw Gruff Rhys at Koko last night. He was great. He jammed for a bit with some crazy Brazilian dude who banged out cheap beats from a home-made electronic guitar thingy, in seeming tribute to John Ottway and Wild Willy Barret, then he sat his ass down on a chair and played a lot of Candylion, which was great. I have, incidentally, sampled the title track from that record for my next mixtape.

Tonight we are making a bookcase, of sorts. This is very exciting. I bought a saw today. You know how much saws cost? Five pounds. Crazy, right?

Oh, speaking of which, Adam Ant is back. Sort of. He’s making a live appearance in London in September, in which he’ll read from his autobiography, and play some acoustic songs. My old man told me about this. “Are you gonna go?” I asked him.

“No chance,” came the reply. “I want to remember him in his full piratical/red indian tribal drumming glory singing dog eat dog, leap frog the dog and brush me daddio!

Which is a good point.

— Monday, July 30th, 2007

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

So, we saw Transformers on Friday – damn that shit bangs! What a great movie! Basically some Saturday afternoon, Christmas day, 9 years old male wish fulfilment fantasy shit. Boy gets car, car turns into giant fuck off robot, car helps boy save world and get girl. Incidentally, as we were watching that movie, Wade was at some wrap party with Megan Fox, its female lead. Wade says she is super hot, but tragically, going out with someone from 90210, of all things.

“but!” writes Wade. “i gets better

i met the DUDE

as in the DUDE


jeff bridges

and guess what we talked about


viking RUNES

and hitler

so bizarre


Anyway indeed. A whole bunch of us are getting super-excited about the imminent release of the new Wu-Tang Clan LP, 8 Diagrams. Urb magazine has a brilliant article about the thing here. And if you thought my experience with Interscope was dodgy, go read about Raekwon’s. He can’t even get a meeting with Jimmy. I had three, and I thought that was bullshit. Damn homie!

In other news , The Svenhunter has another podcast up. Bitch is getting them out quicker than me. I’m doing my one this afternoon. Rah. Anyway, Ali’s has got various guest presenters, including The PPF, and is playing songs by Bill Drummond, Ghostface, Chrome Hoof, The Only Ones, Dizzee rascal, and more!

Oh, that lovely and scary picture of me up there was drawn by Endre from Norway. Nice one Endre!

— Sunday, July 29th, 2007

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

I got lots of nice emails when I was in jail hospital. Like this one:


Akira if you need a kidney I’ll give you one. I’m serious.

Your Friend,
Sleek Mouse

Which is good to know. My old man came to visit me the other day and he said he cried when he read all the nice messages you’d left me. He said when he was young all he wanted out of life was for someone to miss him when he went. Well, I’ll miss him. He is a funny old sod and no mistake. Jeres will miss him too. So he’s doing better than Lonely Blair already. Nobody misses him.

I got some perplexing messages too. Like this one:

how’s it goin’ akira? I need some advice. What should I do? I have a girlfriend here in oregon and I’m going back to tennesee in a week. I don’t feel as though I want to be with her anymore but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. What should I do?


Like, who am I, Mystic Meg? Dear Deidre? Simon Cowel? I am not, obviously. I am also not fully recovered, so my mental faculties may not be blasting at full velocity. But still. What I think, Robert, after all my years of foolishness, is that the worst thing a boy can do to a girl is deceive her. And the best thing a boy can do for a girl is be be real with her. Anyway, my American geography is bad, but I suspect Oregon is far enough from Tennessee to make a relationship difficult, even if you were really bothered. So say goodbye, in a nice way – talk of the things you’ve experienced and learnt together, thank her for the good times, and wish her well. Then ride off into the sunset on a white horse with a blood red cloak draped over your shoulders, whistling that Andrew WK song about not going to bed.

Alternately, lie, tell her you’re moving to Spain to live with your sick father, and borrow her credit card to buy Smiths albums and chicken, which is what I did when I was your age. The adverse karma, however, is still fucking with me. So maybe don’t bother.

So! Did you see that Amish inspired video for Kanye’s brillaint ‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing’? it’s got Will Oldham in it. On a tractor. I think it’s beautiful. Speaking ow which, Wes Anderson’s got a new joint on the way called The Darjeeling Limited. Trailer here. RAH!

Oh, look down the bottom left of the page, and you’ll notice the announcement of three gigs.

Over and out.

— Thursday, July 26th, 2007

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007

Sorry about the lack of updates – I am back in London and PlayLouder haven’t sorted my broadband yet. I am in an internet cafe on Upper Clapton Road that doesn’t let me download things. So you’ll have to wait a few days for another hospital diary. Boo hoo.

Anyway, Lethal Bizzle’s album is out this week, so you should all go cop that, as I produced three of the tracks – Babylon, Police On My Back, and Reminiscing. Some of the other stuff on there is awesome too, I especially like Selfridges Girl Not On MySpace.

Apparently I am supposed to be not doing anything, but I have completed my drugs course, so I think it is OK for me to be doing a Crimea remix this afternoon. Getting better is totally ace. I am looking forward to a nice bike ride.

— Wednesday, July 25th, 2007