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June 2007
Friday, June 29th, 2007

Yo, Superbaz- you just tried to buy an MP3 of Stunners 130, but your email is bouncing. Chuck us your real one quick so you can be like CrazyJane206 who just bought hers all the way from Texas USA and is bumping it right now!

The rest of youse, James Hyman is playing an edited version (ie no swears – well, less swears) on his XFM show this Saturday night, so tune in.

— Friday, June 29th, 2007

Friday, June 29th, 2007

Oh shit, GZA’s done a Jimmy Pop and put togther some REAL documentary shit for you and me! Check Raekwon shouting out U God! Ghost’s beard! Wow! I am so excited! Wu-Tang makes me excited like Christmas does Western-ass prepubecents! Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

— Friday, June 29th, 2007

Thursday, June 28th, 2007

So, here I am, packing up my house again, throwing away crap and wondering why I still have so many DVDs despite decemating my collction just 6 months ago, and what do I keep finding? Half finished packets of chewing gum. This has been happening to me since I was 15, and I don’t even really like chewing gum. But every time I move I find a whole lot of half emptied chewing gum packets. It is totally doing my head in.

Hmm, I just got totally distracted from my work for, like, half an hour reading about Lil Wayne. But never mind that – my little brother Alex has made his first podcast (I am one of his guests), The Spice Girls have reformed and we lucky fools in the UK somehow have a new Government. What The Fuck? Apparently today they “discussed the flooding crisis”. That must have been fun. Since we have that marvelous Civil Contingencies Bill as LAW now, they can, in the case of flooding, suspend parliment.

True story. I do not lie. In the event of flooding – go read it – they can suspend parliment.

Shit, they can do all sorts of crazy stuff. Check it:

Stuff they can now get up to with impunity in the event of flooding mentioned in the Civil Contongencies Bill:

* Confiscation of property, with or without compensation
* Destruction of property, animals or plants; with or without compensation
* Deployment of the armed forces
* Forced movement, to or from a place
* Forcing a person to act, without remuneration or compensation
* Prohibiting assembly
* Prohibiting travel, or virtually any other activity.

Serious! In the event of flooding they can nick your house, shoot your dog, sic the army on your ass, then send you to Coventry to make killer robots out of the bits of your dead dog and some rusty tin cans for NO MONEY, while not allowing you to go and meet your mates in town and see the new Die Hard movie! SERIOUS! How fucking NUTS is THAT?!

Yes, I that’s what I thought. To the hills, Maude, and bring the shotgun!


14. Horrorism: The propensity of ill-educated youths (and the press who represent them) to champion derivative music.

— Thursday, June 28th, 2007

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

A nice readerlistener called Graham writes:

“hi bro just wanna ask you a question, a few people have been saying that it was your song that was used on an episode of Hollyoaks last friday, but other people have been saying it aint cause it dont sound like it, a lot a people want to get it so i thought i would ask you to take a look at the vid and tell me if it is or not, if you could reply and let me know id be grateful. heres the link, the song is right at the end of the vid (it starts just as the 3 girls phone the ambulance)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eui4KnwNnsM

cheers bro

graham”

And cheers you, Dr Graham. Indeed, the good people at Hollyoaks have been caning a song of mine called Dead Babies – it’s shown up a bunch of times over the past few months, and my spies tell me it WAS played on Friday’s show – but it isn’t that song at the end (unless they slowed it down a lot and changed the pitch). It’s the song they also play at the start of this episode, cleverly YouTubed below…

So there you go. Televisual Glory. I am very proud to be soundtracking this beautiful boy/boy love affair. Long may it continue. And long may you lot continue to inform my non-television-owning ass about my televisual appearances. I thank you.

— Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

Today I feel quite dreadful, but I am getting a lot of evil crap done, so that’s something. I ran into my old pal Blake yesterday, who I haven’t seen for nearly a year. In that time he’s married a famous popstar, but it hasn’t changed his lifestyle much, bless him. The two of them are very sweet together indeed, and I am very happy for him.

In other news, it would have been my pal Wade’s wedding anniversary today. Well, I suppose it still is. Anyway, may our hearts all go out to Wade, who is ace. Love is waiting somewhere for you, buddy.

It’s still grey in London, which is rude of it, but what you gonna do? Cry? Maybe. I can see why people do. Wah! Wah! The grey! The grey!

Here’s a joke for you: Bloke walks into a bar. Bloke gets concussion.

Boom boom!

— Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

Sunday, June 24th, 2007

That’d be the video for Lethal Bizzle’s ‘Jump’, costarring Fire Camp, Jeremy Allen, and ME! Me! It’s all about me!

Haha. Jokes dot com.

— Sunday, June 24th, 2007