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October 2004
Sunday, October 31st, 2004

“We’re dicks! We’re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don’t know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don’t let us fuck this asshole we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit.”
Gary Johnston, Team America, 2004.

Man, I so love living in the future. Me and Wade just watched Team America on my PC. Perfect quality. Cinema sound out my amp and my monitors. It isn’t out here till February. Word. And man, Team America is the best action movie since, like, Terminator or some shit. Well, it’s better than Hero. Hero was the shit too. But that didn’t have Thunderbirds puppets blowing up the Eiffel Tower. It even recycled a load of South Park’s best jokes without pissing me off. That the main baddie was a cross between Cartman and Mr Shitty Wok was in itself genius. And whatddya mean, the requisite sex scene, acted out by plastic on strings, was the most realistic I have seen in an American movie, like, ever?

PLUS! Who was it moidering me about Matt and Tre being crypto-facists or whatever, and Team America being a pro-war anti-Michael Moore movie? Are you dumb or what? Does everything really have to be spelled out to you people? Y’all can’t see this satire, word to Raymond Briggs.

Yuh. Seriously. This is an awesome movie, and its says more about humanity than anything since, like, that episode of South Park where Butters goes missing.

ANYWAY! Last night was fresh to the max, despite the usual issues surrounding events organised by Sean and Wade. Cazals were amazing. I found myself enjoying Towers Of London (the singer of whom got arrested for shoving some douche in the audience’s head. It was retaliatory! I was there man!). And I, man, was the best I have ever been. Like, I was completely in control of my shit for the first time ever. I did two new songs, ‘I Should Have Cut You In The Face’ and ‘This Is The Way We Ball’, and I fucking mad enjoyed it. The scheduled set seemed to be over in seconds, and Wade was all tied up with the coppers, so me and that Birddogg entertained the people with an impromptu, and ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD freestyle decks and raps thing. Being real, I was disappointed with what we did on the Bethan And Huw show, it could have been amazing, and it wasn’t. I worried we weren’t, almost. But last night we were, like The Best. So.

I got this whole, “when I say Chris De Burgh y’all say genius” thing going on. That was so sweet. That was, like, one of the greatest moments of my life or something. And I met loads of safe clarts who read this thing on the regular, and I met some safe clarts that don’t, Gwil had this magnificent gown he found on the ground going on… and in general had a damned good time. At the end I smoked some bones with the Towers, then had a wee dance to portions of the new Stunners mixtape.

I was at some kind of weird scene with posh people at the Great Eastern after. That kind of weirded my drunk head. I was walking home at 7 in the morning or whatever, and I burst into tears and sobbed all the way home. I awoke today with that morning after coldgutsickness for a second, but within moments of being awake, I was overcome with a tremendous sort of warmth. Which lasted me throughout a fine day, in which I have enjoyed fine discourse with pals male and female, dined on tender, fine steak, supped a glass of fine red wine, amd watched a fine movie. Me and Wade might go see Erol DJ at goddamned Catch now, what with it being Halloween and all. I can’t think of a more suitably gross venue for it. Word.

— Sunday, October 31st, 2004

Saturday, October 30th, 2004

Tracklisting:

Infinite Mass – The Theif / Outkast – Ghettomusic (Benni Benassi Mix) feat ATD. & Sean Paul / Alter Ego – Rocker The Casbah feat. ATD and dead prez (Stunners mix) / Giorgio Moroder and Phillip oakey VS MOP, CNN and Dizzee rascal – Electric Dreams (ATD mix) / Tiga – Burning Down / The Faint – The Conductor Got Your Money feat. ODB and Kelis (Stunners Mix) / Playgroup – Front To Back feat ODB (Stunners mix) / Elephant Man and Lil John – Yeah! / Lil John feat Ying Yang Twins – Get Low / Jackie O feat. Ying Yang Twins – Fine / Petey Pablo – Jam Y’all / MIA – Gangalang / Ghostface feat. Missy Elliot – Push / Pastor Troy VS Turbonegro – Whup Got Errection (Stunners mix) / Nick Cannon feat. Ying Yang Twins – Get Crunk Shorty / Beastie Boys VS Motley Crue – Girls (Stunners Mix) / Skid Row – Youth Gone Wild / David Bowie feat. 20 fingers – Short Dick Rebel (Stunners Mix) / Europe VS MOP, ATD and Whitney Houston feat Crystal waters – The Final Countdown (Stunners Mix) / Jefferson Starship – We Built This City On Rock And Roll / Pink Grease – Fever / Cazals – Beat Me To The Bone feat ATD / Sage Francis – Narcisist / The Smiths – Still Ill / Billy Idol VS Method Man Vs Chris de Burgh – Top Billin’ 2004 (DonDogg Mix)

— Saturday, October 30th, 2004

Saturday, October 30th, 2004

Word. So, because it’s Stunners International today, it makes sense to hit you off with the first Stunners International mixtape. This one glides like a snake in the grass, flowing like T2’s weapon arms. It is all here. Wu. me, CDB, Europe, Alter Ego, Skid Row… Go cop it on the music page. And when you’ve done that, hit the media bit and cop some hot new ‘Drinking Song’ wallpapers. Uploaded today – Chris De Burgh! Phill Bush! Nanny!

Yuh!

Then, of course, it’ll be time to come to Stunners International at Throgmortens in London innit. Details on the gigs page.

Anyway, the tracklisting of your DREAMS:

Infinite Mass – The Theif / Outkast – Ghettomusic (Benni Benassi Mix) feat ATD. & Sean Paul / Alter Ego – Rocker The Casbah feat. ATD and dead prez (Stunners mix) / Giorgio Moroder and Phillip oakey VS MOP, CNN and Dizzee rascal – Electric Dreams (ATD mix) / Tiga – Burning Down / The Faint – The Conductor Got Your Money feat. ODB and Kelis (Stunners Mix) / Playgroup – Front To Back feat ODB (Stunners mix) / Elephant Man and Lil John – Yeah! / Lil John feat Ying Yang Twins – Get Low / Jackie O feat. Ying Yang Twins – Fine / Petey Pablo – Jam Y’all / MIA – Gangalang / Ghostface feat. Missy Elliot – Push / Pastor Troy VS Turbonegro – Whup Got Errection (Stunners mix) / Nick Cannon feat. Ying Yang Twins – Get Crunk Shorty / Beastie Boys VS Motley Crue – Girls (Stunners Mix) / Skid Row – Youth Gone Wild / David Bowie feat. 20 fingers – Short Dick Rebel (Stunners Mix) / Europe VS MOP, ATD and Whitney Houston feat Crystal waters – The Final Countdown (Stunners Mix) / Jefferson Starship – We Built This City On Rock And Roll / Pink Grease – Fever / Cazals – Beat Me To The Bone feat ATD / Sage Francis – Narcisist / The Smiths – Still Ill / Billy Idol VS Method Man Vs Chris de Burgh – Top Billin’ 2004 (DonDogg Mix)

— Saturday, October 30th, 2004

Thursday, October 28th, 2004

Lalalalala I am in Cardiff to be doing this Radio 1 thing, lalalala it is wicked lalalala. Yes. So far I have done a photoshoot in a barbers with some safe clarts, an interview, and a soundcheck.

Birddogg was late! Amazing.

That soundcheck was weird actually. It is radio, so everything exists in headphones you see. These aren’t very loud, because of HEALTH AND SAFETY! Yes yes. So it lends to being quite precise, and concise (I can’t spell), even. I will notice if I mess up, and so will you. WHOO!

So. Bethan is lovely. Huw is in Wales. Oh, Eminem just came on. Very slow. Yes yes.

I am blathering now, I’ll shut up. Hopefully I don’t mess up later.

— Thursday, October 28th, 2004

Thursday, October 28th, 2004

Right, go to the music page to get Living In The Future. It’ll be up for 24 hours. enjoy. I am off to Wales.

x

— Thursday, October 28th, 2004

Wednesday, October 27th, 2004

Damn, today was on some hectic ish. Birddogg, amazingly, was on the nine o clock train, and I was up in time to help him from the station despite being up all last night battling nutters and reading interviews with the comics icons of my youth. Word up Simon Coleby, you chunky steelo WAS Death’s Head II!

But disaster! I’ve been moving my site from a crappy American server run by retards to a British one run by people that know my brother. I know. Anyway, I thought when someone said they were transferring a domain, it meant the whole site. It doesn’t mean that at all. That’s why, this afternoon, the site appeared to have died.

So I was desperately trying to download the whole fucking thing off of the old server, and stick it up on the new one. And things kept fucking up. At one point I’d lost all the images. Every picture on the site, gone. Then I lost the whole thing. My stomach fell out of my ass. I was so gutted. I did a bit of screaming, I think. Birddogg, of course, remained calm. And I sorted it.

So, yeah, that’s OK now. Hopefully a whole bunch of you that coudn’t see the site before now can.

So, tomorrow Birddogg and I head to Cardiff, to do the and Huw show. I am excited. Our first Radio 1 Session! And I have never been to Cardiff before. There is a North/South divide in Wales. They “ti” inappropriately. To anyone! That’s like calling everybody “darling” in English. It is rude.

Actually, I went through a period of calling everybody “darling”. Then wade took it up. Now I call everybody “lad” and “love”. Just as rude I suppose. And I always thought I’d do a Peel Session. Ah well

Anyway – to apologise for the site being down for so many hours (6!) today, I’ll be posting my new song, provisionally titled ‘Living In The Future’, tomorrow. It shall stay online for but 24 hours. Look out for it around 10am.

Oh, and Mr stix never wrote back. Shocker.

PS – that is a picture of me and Sophie laughing at Jeres, who is my dear handsome friend in the picture with me a few days ago. He was being drunk and rude, rude and drunk.

— Wednesday, October 27th, 2004